Culture? What Culture?

Last month my promising rap career burst into flames- roughly 15 seconds after it began.  Until that point my night at the ‘GRSP Idol’ karaoke night had been pleasant enough.  I had watched some truly talented performers like Mathilde from Sweden and Gudbjork from Iceland, as well as some fun sing-along groups.  Then a dangerous thought hit me: wouldn’t it be great to represent New Zealand culture on a global stage, by performing the Flight of the Conchords classic Hiphopopotamus vs the Rhymenoceros.  It was about the point that I tried to slide across the floor on my knees that I realised a) sliding on your knees makes you look like a bit of a fool b) There was no rhythm to my rapping and c) while thinking about a and b I had forgotten the words to the verse and finally d) that there was a high definition camera in front of me recording every embarrassing second.  Needless to say I wasn’t a big hit with the judges- but hey, you can’t let the haters get you down.  Besides, I’m glad I was able to contribute something from my culture, because back in New Zealand I wondered if we even had one. 

Culture is one of those funny words like ‘Love’ or ‘Eow’ (from the common Whakatane greeting ‘Sup Eow!’); it’s a word that has yet to be completely understood or defined in the English language.  Culture does have a kind of vague, understood definition of values and knowledge that a society has in common though, such as the French eating frogs.  Often history plays a key role in these unique customs and beliefs as they are built up generation by generation.  And here’s New Zealand’s cultural issue: we just aren’t that old.  There is no doubt the native Maori peoples of New Zealand have created a distinct and vibrant culture from a number of tribes, but I’d always thought 'Pakeha' (or foreign) historic culture in New Zealand was lacking a unique spark.  There were our interesting early days of being the ‘Hellhole of the Pacific’ (which I’ve always thought would make a cool theme park), but that was swept under the carpet as we were moulded by Britain into ‘Godzone’; a puritanical nation of farmers, whose sole purpose was to provide meat for the motherland.  Over time our links with the United Kingdom have faded but their cultural footprint remains- a watered down version of original customs such as the English diet or the occasional Scottish bagpipe tune.  At least Australia, our neighbouring colony, had some convicts and crocodiles to spice things up- all we had were pretty mountains. 

This issue struck me the most in 2005, while I was visiting the Kingdom of Tonga in the Pacific Islands.   I was over there for a youth meeting of the Pacific Anglican church as a representative of ‘Pakeha’ New Zealand, and as part of the event our delegation had to do a performance to demonstrate our culture.  I remember our group of pasty Pakehas looking at each other thinking ‘what the hell are we supposed to do? Act like farmers?’.   The Maori group already had the pois swinging and the Pacific Islanders were gliding gracefully across the stage in their traditional outfits.   And the Pakeha? We sang the New Zealand folk song ‘Ten Guitars’ by Arnold Dorsey.  There are a few cultural issues with this choice though: Mr Dorsey was actually an Englishman, who grew up in India (but never lived in New Zealand) and wrote a song popular with displaced Maori-in other words, nothing to do with us.  So it can be a struggle in New Zealand to find our point of difference in the world.  I think sometimes our country has been guilty of trying too hard to manufacture a personality or image for ourselves- such as the ‘100% pure’ environmental tag that director Lee Tamahori mocks in the opening shot of his film ‘Once were Warriors’. These attempts to create our own culture from our meagre history has lead to what has been called ‘cultural cringe’- a kind of post-colonial inferiority complex, in which we see the culture and achievements of other countries as much more important than our own.  I have to admit that before I left New Zealand I was often one of the cringers. 

And then I landed in America and everything changed.  The blank looks I got as I first tried to communicate the word “bar” in our lazy nasal semi-Brit accent meant that whether I liked it or not I was a foreigner.  Culture, a term I was looking at cynically immediately became concrete- in the words of the great Martin Lawrence: “sh*t just got real”.  In Georgia, the New Zealand way of life stands out and manifests itself in tiny things- the direction that you flick a lightswitch, the temperature of a room or the packaging on generic candy bars.  The world hasn’t turned upside-down for me, it’s just shifted on its axis a bit.  However it is impossible to ignore an overall change in mindset that comes from living in the world’s number one power (which is something I’ll explore later in the blog).  Also Kiwiana- the gimmicky stereotyped images of New Zealand like plastic kiwis and novelty t-shirts suddenly take on a whole new significance when you’re the only New Zealander for 300 miles.   Back home, the sight of Kiwiana would bring out the ‘cultural cringe’ factor.  Here though they have tangible significance- if only for a one New Zealander living in the middle of the American South.

   

There's always been a thin line between bravery and stupidity in history.  Sometimes you can be both- like the charge of the ‘Light Brigade’ in the Crimean war.  Those men sharpened their swords and rode gallantly and fearlessly straight at the rows of enemy cannons...and got absolutely massacred.  That’s probably the best way to describe our GRSP idol tribute to the Flight of the Chonchords.  But I didn’t travel halfway around the world to just sit in the corner and be embarrassed of our culture.  New Zealand may suffer from being ‘Little Britan’ but that doesn’t mean our culture doesn’t exist.  If you want proof just look at your surroundings and think how strange the concept of ‘normal’ life is in the first place.   As for me, I’m off to destroy a certain piece of evidence on a high definition video camera.  Enjoy the weekend!